CBT

Over the summer I visited St. Joes hospital for a long-awaited seat in their highly recommended Panic and Anxiety Clinic, and I am very grateful.

I was deemed 'recommended for private care' (aka nuts enough to need one-on-one treatment, lol) and spent several hours, over several weeks with a really wonderful doctor. My therapy was CBT, and focused on my phobia of being physically ill.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is based on the scientific belief that panic and anxiety are learned behaviors, that can be un-learned.

When I had my first few major attacks years ago, it became more and more easy to work myself into another attack. If I feel myself overheating, or my stomach getting really upset, or I get dizzy, I automatically remembered that I felt those symptoms during my first attacks, and therefor assume that I must be about to suffer another attack now. CBT teaches me to look at these symptoms in a more logical and realistic way, thus relieving the chance of winding up in another attack.

People suffering from panic and/or anxiety tend to become people of avoidance. I once had a horrifying attack at my boyfriend's cottage, so for a long time I didn't want to go back there. I once got very sick after drinking chocolate milk, so I stopped drinking it for a long time (even though it was the FLU that made me sick, not the milk). People with social anxieties avoid shopping malls, long lines in the grocery store, and only go to the park when it's late, and less busy.

This is where CBT's sharpest tool comes into play.

Exposure Therapy.

Exposure therapy is based on the belief that our fears come from our negative experiences, and that if we can make more positive experiences around the same things, our level of fear will decrease. Therapists came up with the idea of a list that would allow people to gather their fears or things that make them anxious, which would help make overcoming these fears easier.

The Hierarchy of Fears is a list that patients make (that ANYONE can, and very well should make) that lists all the things that make us most anxious, or things that we avoid because of our anxiety. After compiling my list (which continues to change, things are discovered and added, or other things become less important), my doctor and I spent time rating each fear/avoidance. From 1-100 we rated how great my fear was of that 'item' on the list, and then we rated how greatly I avoid it.

Ex. "Flying a plane, for leisure reasons"
Fear: 85 (I hate it)
Avoidance: 95 (so I avoid it whenever possible!)

My list is 17 items long, and the next step is to attack them!

Starting with an item that is rated the lowest (not AS fearful of it, don't avoid it AS much), you slowly begin to expose yourself to that certain thing. The belief is that the more you are exposed, the more normal this thing or this situation will become, and then the less fearful you will be of it.

Ex. Someone with a social anxiety may list "Grocery shopping" as an item, and rate their fear 90, and their avoidance 100. Exposure therapy would suggest this person slowly exposing themselves to the experience of grocery shopping. First they may try writing a grocery list. The next day they may attempt to drive past the grocery store, then if that goes well, they would try walking past the grocery store next time. After that, their fear and avoidance of grocery shopping should decrease a little, so next time they would try walking into the store, and staying for 1..3..5 minutes! The idea is, after that exposure (possibly repeated exposure) the patients fear and avoidance has decreased to the point where they can start feeling more confident in their abilities to survive the situation. Eventually this patient isn't even concerned about making it to the Express checkout lane...they're confident enough to take their 25 items and wait their turn in the long line! (Ideally!)

The idea is that the more you expose yourself, the better your chances or having positive experiences regarding that item on your list And when comparing all your positive experiences to that ONE time you went grocery shopping and became overwhelmed and had a panic attack in the middle of the cereal isle...you'll grow more confident in your ability to grocery shop without any anxious occurrences.

My private CBT sessions have come to an end, but in order to keep active in my recovery, and remain conscious of my progress, I have decided to post one of my Hierarchy items, one blog entry at a time, and openly discuss my fluctuating fear and avoidance levels, and what steps I am taking to become more confident is such situations. TA-DA!

Well, that's the goal anyways. It appears I have become a lazy blogger, lately.

It's unlikely I will burden my entire Facebook list with all these blog 'shares', so if for some odd reason you are interested in keeping up with my work, please feel free to 'follow' my blog, or check back every now and again, anxietyslayer.blogspot.com

Ps. It could also, easily, stand for Cool Bitch Therapy. Any other suggestions?