Ways To Shine Even Brighter In 2013

It's that time of year again! The year we're standing in is drawing to a close, and an entire brand spanking new one is on the verge of opening it's arms. It's exciting! I do think that Birthdays are the mark of a new year for everyone in a personal way, but midnight on New Years Eve is something the whole world can share. Whether we're Catholic or Muslim or Canadian or Australian, gay or straight, rich or poor or stupid enough to eat a burger with melted butter on it (because that does exist at Steak n Shake), the calendar starts over again. 

(That's right, right? I know there's a Chinese New Year that's not right now, but they still recognize January 1st, right? Perhaps I'll Google that before posting...)

This year, inspired by an article my boyfriend sent me, instead of coming up with a bunch of resolutions that sometimes lead to disappointment in ourselves, I have decided to compose a list of revelations. A list of things, some profound and some obvious, I KNOW will help make this new year even better then the one ending. 

1) You don't ALWAYS have to be SO brave. 

I'd been craving a little crazy in my life, so I used the salon gift certificate won at my friend's Champagne fundraiser and dyed my hair purple! Before going purple though, you must get bleached. So the bleach went in, and sat there, and I sat under the dryer...and I slowly sank from under the dryer, and then I started shaking, and then I tried breathing slow and calmly, and then I ran outside and started crying. Lol. Bottom line, I now have a little chemical burn on my scalp because I didn't wan to be a cry baby, I was trying to be brave and suck it up. But pain and panic and fear does occasionally occur for a good reason. 

2. When you find yourself asking, 'Why me?', take an actually minute to list 3 things you are thankful for.

Instead of rhyming off that age old 'Someone’s always got it worse', be productive. In that moment when you're wondering 'Why me?', it sometimes seems impossible that anyone could be feeling worse then you are. "I'm lying on my bathroom floor shaking and sweating and throwing up after shitting my pants...and you're trying to tell ME that someone is feeling even worse then this right now? Fuck you."

But even when lying on the bathroom floor (feeling like your) dying, you can take a minute, in your head or on paper, or out loud, to list three things you're thankful for. Reminding yourself of the good in your life, even if its just three teeny things (like, Grey's Anatomy is on tonight), it becomes easier to appreciate the little things, easier to see that in fact some might be worse off. 

3. In a similar fashion, when you're heart starts hurting for the ones you've lost, remember those you still have. 

It's far easier said then done, this I know, but it's trying that counts. I'm not so much talking about loves ones who have passed away. While its important to keep most of our focus on the living, I'd never ask a person cut their mourning period short. Losing a twenty-something friend to cancer, that shit's going to sting well into 2013. And that's ok. 

But the exboyfriends, the best friends you've spent so much time missing when songs about best friends come on the radio, this is the year to realize that you're better off. It's strange, and mean, the way our brains seem to recall the good times so much quicker then the reasons the good times ended. Why is that? Some sappy song plays and we're thinking about first kisses and weekly Bachelor dates, instead of how badly it hurt when they cheated on us, or told us we were worthless. 

Instead of remembering those good times or those bad times, remember the numbers in your address book that you can still text at all hours of the night, even when you're in Florida! It's not seeing someone every day that makes a best friend, it's those who treat you the best (no matter what), and that's who we need to spend our feelings on. 

4. Keep less CRAP in your home. 

This is one will be a bit of a struggle for me. 

While piles of old magazines and months-worth of newspapers, or the 63 boxes of laundry detergent you picked up during your coupon-clipping phase last year is also crap that you should clean your home of, I'm talking about salty and sugary and delicious crap!

I'm a snacker. I'm not big into big meals, I like to have little snacks whenever I'm actually feeling hungry. However, when there's chips or cakes or Double Bubble in the house, I'll snack on those,only because they’re there. It's all about eliminating to opportunity. I have a mega sweet tooth, but if there's no sweets in the house, I admit defeat and move on. And I don't feel guilty at the end of the day. Or get fat!

5. Having said that, get your just-desserts!

I'm not a drinker, so I don't really want to catch up over drinks, and caffeine makes my tummy angry so I don't love coffee dates. That's why I like cake dates! If you're strong enough to keep things in moderation, there's nothing wrong with having dessert for dinner, especially when sharing it with a friend (or lover). Just make sure you have fruits and veggies for breakfast and lunch first, lol. Unless its your Birthday! Then it's cake dates for all meals!

6. Nap!

This one is my favorite, and I did it all this year too! I just figure that by writing about it, it'll feel more justified. 

Sleep is good for you! I'm a firm believer in sleeping when you're sleepy. If the time is available, give your bod a break, and do not feel guilty about it, no matter what your boyfriend says! ;)

7. Listen to more (good) music. 

(and 'good' music is of course according to your own acquired taste)

I don't even remember the last time I realized I had a half hour to kill and turned iTunes on instead of streaming the 4th season on Criminal Minds. Maybe that's just my habit, and in all honesty I'll probably never break it completely (have you seen Criminal Minds?!), but nothing beats that feeling when your ear catches a beat and your whole soul is filled. Right now I only play the albums I was so excited to download (I wonder if anyone out there is resolving to stop illegally downloading...lol) when I'm at the gym. 

(I also need to go to the gym more then once a week.)

Spend time laying on your floor just listening to music. Loudly! Unless it's midnight and you don't live alone. 

8. Hug more!

I seriously think the world is in desperate need of more positive physical affection. 

I work in a school, so I know how antsy people can about physical contact. I remember the 'no touching' rule they tried out, when I was in high school. Teachers didn't feel comfortable singling out the slutty kids fornicating in front of homeroom, so instead they handed out detention to couple walking to class holding hands, and bffs hugging in the cafeteria. While I understand that we don't want to encourage kids to be freely sexual before they're old enough to be, I have always thought its wrong to unconsciously teach them that all touching is wrong. I'm sure that some parents may feel uncomfortable with teachers hugging their students, but at the same time, it'd just be rude for me to tell a 4 year old to fuck off when they come at me with open arms. 

Hugs are happy things! Challenge Day (Google it) taught us that 8 hugs a day helps a human being achieve maximum health and happiness. You should also look up the 'Free Hugs In Paris' video, and I dare you not to literally feel your heart grow. 

Some day I will teach my children that there are right and wrong ways to touch people. I'll tell them that there are in fact bad people out there who like to touch kids the wrong way, but that it's very ok to hug a classmate after they offer to share their (peanut free) snack. 

9. Get away. 

I've been lucky. I am lucky! My parents have two weeks of Myrtle Beach timeshare between the two of them, and my dad has this place in Florida that we can all take advantage of, so I get away a lot. And it feels good! 

But it doesn't take two weeks in the sun to feel that 'away' feeling. A sleepover in a hotel bed does the trick! And these days you can find all kinds of deals online for cheap rooms. Don't go drinking for a weekend or two, and you can 'get a room'! Make sure you go early, as soon as you're allowed to check in, and always ask for a late check out to maximize your vaca. Use up all the free shampoo, go to the pool, use their treadmills, get up early for the continental breakfast and then go back to bed. Even if the hotel is 10 minutes from your house, there's something about sleeping in a new bed and being away from the pile of laundry that's needed to be done for weeks, that rejuvenates the soul. 

10. Dance like nobody's watching (even though everyone IS watching because your moves are sweet).
Burning calories is never more fun then when you're doing it dancing. I think our bodies were built to dance! Whether its in your undies home alone, in a sweaty claustrophobic club, or on stage in a tutu, wake up your sleepy bored-just-walking muscles and groove. 

I love going out to dance with friends, but in these chilly months the desire lessens because of the wait outside. And sometimes after working all week I'm not motivated to shower and get dressed up for a Friday night out. So this year I'm going to work dance classes at the gym into my regular schedule. I actually haven't been to a class before, but something tells me it's far more fun, and passes the exercise-time faster then an elliptical. 

And that's all I've got for now! Hey, 10 things is a lot, lol. 

Below is the link to the article of inspiration. I don't normally ask things of 'my readers', but I'd really appreciate it if you could leave a comment adding to the list, adding to my list, suggestions to enhance our lives physically, emotionally, mentally, and personally in 2013. 

However you spend it, here's wishes for a brand-new beautiful year, from my castle to yours ;)


http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/29-ways-to-make-2013-better/

My Princess Hair

Because I wanted to know

In the few days leading up to my IUD date, I spent obvious time Googling for tips and facts. Firstly, LEAST romantic date ever. Secondly, nothing I found online prepared me for this experience, and I knew no one personally who'd had an IUD, so I was blindsided. That's how my luck rolls!
There are a few most-important questions which I have now (after nearly 3 weeks) been able to answer for anyone who's considering taking similar steps down the PMS/birth control road. 

1. Does it hurt?
Fuck yes. 

Like a capitol F-uck. 

The night before the insertion procedure, you're given (and by given I mean it's just one more thing you have to PAY for) tablets. Thankfully, I had the mind to ask 'do you take them with food?' The answer is no, you stick them up your vagina!

The tablets are meant to help soften your cervix, to make the IUD insertion easier. The doctor and the pharmacist said you I was fine to do it right before bed. What they didn't specify is, if you plan on being too damn anxious to sleep, at least put them in before 2am. And drink LOTS. According to the poor nurse who had to witness my ordeal the next morning, part of the tablets were still just sitting around up in there, not doing their job. I'd taken an Ativan 20 minutes earlier, at least. 

The doctor puts that tube-thing in, and cracks it open. The first like...1.8 seconds is fine. It felt like the PAP swab they do during your annual check up. And then the tool hit what I am assuming was my actual uterus. And then there was this pain, that makes me nauseous just thinking about how to describe it. 

Ever stubbed your toe so suddenly and hard, that you feel nauseous? It was like electric shock therapy, inside my lower abdomen. But faulty shock therapy clearly, because my uterus is still a psychopathic asshole. The pain came so fast and so sharp that I just passed out. And my lovely doctor decided it beat to wait until I came to, and settled a little (aka took another Ativan) before telling me 'oh! We just have to go in there once more to finish up!' I THINK, after inserting the thing, the doctor then has to go back in to snip the wires. 

That time, the pain was bad enough to make me puke. While I had no pants on. Just gagging and chocking over a garbage can, in front of the doctor and the nurse and my boyfriend, with no pants on. A typical Monday morning, really! Luckily is been too nervous to eat. And luckily I knew myself and my anxiety well enough to take the day off ahead of time. Instead on taking my boyfriend out for breakfast as a 'thanks for holding my hand' treat, we went home and I took Gravol, and spooned my heating pad to sleep all day. 

2. Sex?

One thing I did find the night before my appointment, was a YouTube video by a girl who'd recently gotten her IUD, talking about sex. Apparently her doctor didn't cut the wires short enough, so the first time she and her husband had sex, 'it was like being stabbed repeatedly'. 

Ps. If I were being stabbed during sex, I'd probably just stop having sex. No?

Well, my wires were cut well! But that assurance hasn't made sex much easier. I hope that sooner then later I will simply forget all about this THING inside my body and go about regular business with no care at all, but for now it's all I can really think about. I've always been an over-thinker, and slightly paranoid! So of course any time there is a new, uncomfy feeling in there, I panic and assume its the IUD slowly chipping away at the walls of my uterus, like the Shawshank guy, desperate to escape. 

The doctor assured me that it was perfectly fine to have sex as soon as I wanted, after the procedure. But I think he was strictly referring to the physical fineness. It took some time for me to THINK that it was safe to have anything else in there, after the trauma it suffered in the doctors office. But maybe that's just me! 

3. What are the side effects?

This is one of those things that is different for everyone. All drugs work that way. While I was visiting Homewood, I sampled like 4 different anti anxiety meds, and only Celexa allowed me to feel the benefits without crazy side effects. I've definitely been enduring side effects with the IUD, though. Mind you it hasn't been quite 3 weeks yet, so I'm still hopeful everything will settle and regulate. 

I was most worried about the threat of acne. It's something I've always been self conscious about, though. I remember crying when going to my first dermatologist appointment in high school, because I had to leave the house without makeup. Actually, I only started on the pill to help with my face. It's the vanity in me, being more worried about zits, or weight gain, as a posed to my body physically rejecting the IUD, and bleeding out in my sleep. But my face is as fine as it was a month ago, and my appetite is actually smaller. 

My hormones feel completely fucked, on the other hand. It's like PMS 24/7, but with no threat of an actual tampon-needing period. Ive been spotting ever since, which i find revolting. When I'm on my period I always feel (on top of pain and nausea) unclean. It's a naturally messy situation that leaves me feeling gross even right out of the shower. The IUD is supposed minimize female-only costs by getting rid of your period, but so far it's been extra boxes of panty liners and baby wipes. 

Speaking of which, I've got to assume that people think I'm pregnant. I walk around holding my lower stomach (why do we think that this helps the hurt?), and the other day a father picking his kid up at school, caught me bent over in pain and asked if I was ok. My acting skills are fading...

Last weekend I cried approximately 94 times. I always felt choked up, just waiting for some Christmas commercial or hug good bye to set me off. I get awful cramps on and off all day...like 3000-4000mg of Advil a day-worth. And my nipples! I can not for the life of me even pull a Tshirt over my head without them hurting! I mean is that really necessary? Boobs were given to women for a very important reason, why must they become a punishment? Uteruses were also made part of a woman for a VERY important reason...don't even get me started on the unfairness of the female anatomy. 
1. Does it hurt?
Fuck yes. 
Like a capitol F-uck. 
The night before the insertion procedure, you're given (and by given I mean it's just one more thing you have to PAY for) tablets. Thankfully, I had the mind to ask 'do you take them with food?' The answer is no, you stick them up your vagina!
The tablets are meant to help soften your cervix, to make the IUD insertion easier. The doctor and the pharmacist said you I was fine to do it right before bed. What they didn't specify is, if you plan on being too damn anxious to sleep, at least put them in before 2am. And drink LOTS. According to the poor nurse who had to witness my ordeal the next morning, part of the tablets were still just sitting around up in there, not doing their job. I'd taken an Ativan 20 minutes earlier, at least. 
The doctor puts that tube-thing in, and cracks it open. The first like...1.8 seconds is fine. It felt like the PAP swab they do during your annual check up. And then the tool hit what I am assuming was my actual uterus. And then there was this pain, that makes me nauseous just thinking about how to describe it. 
Ever stubbed your toe so suddenly and hard, that you feel nauseous? It was like electric shock therapy, inside my lower abdomen. But faulty shock therapy clearly, because my uterus is still a psychopathic asshole. The pain came so fast and so sharp that I just passed out. And my lovely doctor decided it beat to wait until I came to, and settled a little (aka took another Ativan) before telling me 'oh! We just have to go in there once more to finish up!' I THINK, after inserting the thing, the doctor then has to go back in to snip the wires. 
That time, the pain was bad enough to make me puke. While I had no pants on. Just gagging and chocking over a garbage can, in front of the doctor and the nurse and my boyfriend, with no pants on. A typical Monday morning, really! Luckily is been too nervous to eat. And luckily I knew myself and my anxiety well enough to take the day off ahead of time. Instead on taking my boyfriend out for breakfast as a 'thanks for holding my hand' treat, we went home and I took Gravol, and spooned my heating pad to sleep all day. 
2. Sex?
One thing I did find the night before my appointment, was a YouTube video by a girl who'd recently gotten her IUD, talking about sex. Apparently her doctor didn't cut the wires short enough, so the first time she and her husband had sex, 'it was like being stabbed repeatedly'. 
Ps. If I were being stabbed during sex, I'd probably just stop having sex. No?
Well, my wires were cut well! But that assurance hasn't made sex much easier. I hope that sooner then later I will simply forget all about this THING inside my body and go about regular business with no care at all, but for now it's all I can really think about. I've always been an over-thinker, and slightly paranoid! So of course any time there is a new, uncomfy feeling in there, I panic and assume its the IUD slowly chipping away at the walls of my uterus, like the Shawshank guy, desperate to escape. 
The doctor assured me that it was perfectly fine to have sex as soon as I wanted, after the procedure. But I think he was strictly referring to the physical fineness. It took some time for me to THINK that it was safe to have anything else in there, after the trauma it suffered in the doctors office. But maybe that's just me! 
3. What are the side effects?
This is one of those things that is different for everyone. All drugs work that way. While I was visiting Homewood, I sampled like 4 different anti anxiety meds, and only Celexa allowed me to feel the benefits without crazy side effects. I've definitely been enduring side effects with the IUD, though. Mind you it hasn't been quite 3 weeks yet, so I'm still hopeful everything will settle and regulate. 
I was most worried about the threat of acne. It's something I've always been self conscious about, though. I remember crying when going to my first dermatologist appointment in high school, because I had to leave the house without makeup. Actually, I only started on the pill to help with my face. It's the vanity in me, being more worried about zits, or weight gain, as a posed to my body physically rejecting the IUD, and bleeding out in my sleep. But my face is as fine as it was a month ago, and my appetite is actually smaller. 
My hormones feel completely fucked, on the other hand. It's like PMS 24/7, but with no threat of an actual tampon-needing period. Ive been spotting ever since, which i find revolting. When I'm on my period I always feel (on top of pain and nausea) unclean. It's a naturally messy situation that leaves me feeling gross even right out of the shower. The IUD is supposed minimize female-only costs by getting rid of your period, but so far it's been extra boxes of panty liners and baby wipes. 
Speaking of which, I've got to assume that people think I'm pregnant. I walk around holding my lower stomach (why do we think that this helps the hurt?), and the other day a father picking his kid up at school, caught me bent over in pain and asked if I was ok. My acting skills are fading...
Last weekend I cried approximately 94 times. I always felt choked up, just waiting for some Christmas commercial or hug good bye to set me off. I get awful cramps on and off all day...like 3000-4000mg of Advil a day-worth. And my nipples! I can not for the life of me even pull a Tshirt over my head without them hurting! I mean is that really necessary? Boobs were given to women for a very important reason, why must they become a punishment? Uteruses were also made part of a woman for a VERY important reason...don't even get me started on the unfairness of the female anatomy. 
So, for now, this IUD business receives an F grade from me. I have decided that I'll give it 2 months. How can I voluntarily feel this way for more then 60 days? But when it makes you puke and pass out, it has to be worth it eventually, right? (I will continue to tell myself this for the next 37 days.)