There are a few most-important questions which I have now (after nearly 3 weeks) been able to answer for anyone who's considering taking similar steps down the PMS/birth control road.
1. Does it hurt?
Fuck yes.
Like a capitol F-uck.
The night before the insertion procedure, you're given (and by given I mean it's just one more thing you have to PAY for) tablets. Thankfully, I had the mind to ask 'do you take them with food?' The answer is no, you stick them up your vagina!
The tablets are meant to help soften your cervix, to make the IUD insertion easier. The doctor and the pharmacist said you I was fine to do it right before bed. What they didn't specify is, if you plan on being too damn anxious to sleep, at least put them in before 2am. And drink LOTS. According to the poor nurse who had to witness my ordeal the next morning, part of the tablets were still just sitting around up in there, not doing their job. I'd taken an Ativan 20 minutes earlier, at least.
The doctor puts that tube-thing in, and cracks it open. The first like...1.8 seconds is fine. It felt like the PAP swab they do during your annual check up. And then the tool hit what I am assuming was my actual uterus. And then there was this pain, that makes me nauseous just thinking about how to describe it.
Ever stubbed your toe so suddenly and hard, that you feel nauseous? It was like electric shock therapy, inside my lower abdomen. But faulty shock therapy clearly, because my uterus is still a psychopathic asshole. The pain came so fast and so sharp that I just passed out. And my lovely doctor decided it beat to wait until I came to, and settled a little (aka took another Ativan) before telling me 'oh! We just have to go in there once more to finish up!' I THINK, after inserting the thing, the doctor then has to go back in to snip the wires.
That time, the pain was bad enough to make me puke. While I had no pants on. Just gagging and chocking over a garbage can, in front of the doctor and the nurse and my boyfriend, with no pants on. A typical Monday morning, really! Luckily is been too nervous to eat. And luckily I knew myself and my anxiety well enough to take the day off ahead of time. Instead on taking my boyfriend out for breakfast as a 'thanks for holding my hand' treat, we went home and I took Gravol, and spooned my heating pad to sleep all day.
2. Sex?
One thing I did find the night before my appointment, was a YouTube video by a girl who'd recently gotten her IUD, talking about sex. Apparently her doctor didn't cut the wires short enough, so the first time she and her husband had sex, 'it was like being stabbed repeatedly'.
Ps. If I were being stabbed during sex, I'd probably just stop having sex. No?
Well, my wires were cut well! But that assurance hasn't made sex much easier. I hope that sooner then later I will simply forget all about this THING inside my body and go about regular business with no care at all, but for now it's all I can really think about. I've always been an over-thinker, and slightly paranoid! So of course any time there is a new, uncomfy feeling in there, I panic and assume its the IUD slowly chipping away at the walls of my uterus, like the Shawshank guy, desperate to escape.
The doctor assured me that it was perfectly fine to have sex as soon as I wanted, after the procedure. But I think he was strictly referring to the physical fineness. It took some time for me to THINK that it was safe to have anything else in there, after the trauma it suffered in the doctors office. But maybe that's just me!
3. What are the side effects?
This is one of those things that is different for everyone. All drugs work that way. While I was visiting Homewood, I sampled like 4 different anti anxiety meds, and only Celexa allowed me to feel the benefits without crazy side effects. I've definitely been enduring side effects with the IUD, though. Mind you it hasn't been quite 3 weeks yet, so I'm still hopeful everything will settle and regulate.
I was most worried about the threat of acne. It's something I've always been self conscious about, though. I remember crying when going to my first dermatologist appointment in high school, because I had to leave the house without makeup. Actually, I only started on the pill to help with my face. It's the vanity in me, being more worried about zits, or weight gain, as a posed to my body physically rejecting the IUD, and bleeding out in my sleep. But my face is as fine as it was a month ago, and my appetite is actually smaller.
My hormones feel completely fucked, on the other hand. It's like PMS 24/7, but with no threat of an actual tampon-needing period. Ive been spotting ever since, which i find revolting. When I'm on my period I always feel (on top of pain and nausea) unclean. It's a naturally messy situation that leaves me feeling gross even right out of the shower. The IUD is supposed minimize female-only costs by getting rid of your period, but so far it's been extra boxes of panty liners and baby wipes.
Speaking of which, I've got to assume that people think I'm pregnant. I walk around holding my lower stomach (why do we think that this helps the hurt?), and the other day a father picking his kid up at school, caught me bent over in pain and asked if I was ok. My acting skills are fading...
Last weekend I cried approximately 94 times. I always felt choked up, just waiting for some Christmas commercial or hug good bye to set me off. I get awful cramps on and off all day...like 3000-4000mg of Advil a day-worth. And my nipples! I can not for the life of me even pull a Tshirt over my head without them hurting! I mean is that really necessary? Boobs were given to women for a very important reason, why must they become a punishment? Uteruses were also made part of a woman for a VERY important reason...don't even get me started on the unfairness of the female anatomy.
1. Does it hurt?
Fuck yes.
Like a capitol F-uck.
The night before the insertion procedure, you're given (and by given I mean it's just one more thing you have to PAY for) tablets. Thankfully, I had the mind to ask 'do you take them with food?' The answer is no, you stick them up your vagina!
The tablets are meant to help soften your cervix, to make the IUD insertion easier. The doctor and the pharmacist said you I was fine to do it right before bed. What they didn't specify is, if you plan on being too damn anxious to sleep, at least put them in before 2am. And drink LOTS. According to the poor nurse who had to witness my ordeal the next morning, part of the tablets were still just sitting around up in there, not doing their job. I'd taken an Ativan 20 minutes earlier, at least.
The doctor puts that tube-thing in, and cracks it open. The first like...1.8 seconds is fine. It felt like the PAP swab they do during your annual check up. And then the tool hit what I am assuming was my actual uterus. And then there was this pain, that makes me nauseous just thinking about how to describe it.
Ever stubbed your toe so suddenly and hard, that you feel nauseous? It was like electric shock therapy, inside my lower abdomen. But faulty shock therapy clearly, because my uterus is still a psychopathic asshole. The pain came so fast and so sharp that I just passed out. And my lovely doctor decided it beat to wait until I came to, and settled a little (aka took another Ativan) before telling me 'oh! We just have to go in there once more to finish up!' I THINK, after inserting the thing, the doctor then has to go back in to snip the wires.
That time, the pain was bad enough to make me puke. While I had no pants on. Just gagging and chocking over a garbage can, in front of the doctor and the nurse and my boyfriend, with no pants on. A typical Monday morning, really! Luckily is been too nervous to eat. And luckily I knew myself and my anxiety well enough to take the day off ahead of time. Instead on taking my boyfriend out for breakfast as a 'thanks for holding my hand' treat, we went home and I took Gravol, and spooned my heating pad to sleep all day.
2. Sex?
One thing I did find the night before my appointment, was a YouTube video by a girl who'd recently gotten her IUD, talking about sex. Apparently her doctor didn't cut the wires short enough, so the first time she and her husband had sex, 'it was like being stabbed repeatedly'.
Ps. If I were being stabbed during sex, I'd probably just stop having sex. No?
Well, my wires were cut well! But that assurance hasn't made sex much easier. I hope that sooner then later I will simply forget all about this THING inside my body and go about regular business with no care at all, but for now it's all I can really think about. I've always been an over-thinker, and slightly paranoid! So of course any time there is a new, uncomfy feeling in there, I panic and assume its the IUD slowly chipping away at the walls of my uterus, like the Shawshank guy, desperate to escape.
The doctor assured me that it was perfectly fine to have sex as soon as I wanted, after the procedure. But I think he was strictly referring to the physical fineness. It took some time for me to THINK that it was safe to have anything else in there, after the trauma it suffered in the doctors office. But maybe that's just me!
3. What are the side effects?
This is one of those things that is different for everyone. All drugs work that way. While I was visiting Homewood, I sampled like 4 different anti anxiety meds, and only Celexa allowed me to feel the benefits without crazy side effects. I've definitely been enduring side effects with the IUD, though. Mind you it hasn't been quite 3 weeks yet, so I'm still hopeful everything will settle and regulate.
I was most worried about the threat of acne. It's something I've always been self conscious about, though. I remember crying when going to my first dermatologist appointment in high school, because I had to leave the house without makeup. Actually, I only started on the pill to help with my face. It's the vanity in me, being more worried about zits, or weight gain, as a posed to my body physically rejecting the IUD, and bleeding out in my sleep. But my face is as fine as it was a month ago, and my appetite is actually smaller.
My hormones feel completely fucked, on the other hand. It's like PMS 24/7, but with no threat of an actual tampon-needing period. Ive been spotting ever since, which i find revolting. When I'm on my period I always feel (on top of pain and nausea) unclean. It's a naturally messy situation that leaves me feeling gross even right out of the shower. The IUD is supposed minimize female-only costs by getting rid of your period, but so far it's been extra boxes of panty liners and baby wipes.
Speaking of which, I've got to assume that people think I'm pregnant. I walk around holding my lower stomach (why do we think that this helps the hurt?), and the other day a father picking his kid up at school, caught me bent over in pain and asked if I was ok. My acting skills are fading...
Last weekend I cried approximately 94 times. I always felt choked up, just waiting for some Christmas commercial or hug good bye to set me off. I get awful cramps on and off all day...like 3000-4000mg of Advil a day-worth. And my nipples! I can not for the life of me even pull a Tshirt over my head without them hurting! I mean is that really necessary? Boobs were given to women for a very important reason, why must they become a punishment? Uteruses were also made part of a woman for a VERY important reason...don't even get me started on the unfairness of the female anatomy.
So, for now, this IUD business receives an F grade from me. I have decided that I'll give it 2 months. How can I voluntarily feel this way for more then 60 days? But when it makes you puke and pass out, it has to be worth it eventually, right? (I will continue to tell myself this for the next 37 days.)
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