In 24 hours, I WILL be on a crowded, sweaty dance floor, laughing and getting hit on by cute boys. In 24 hours, I will NOT be on a cold, lonely hotel bathroom floor, crying and and begging to be taken home.
Sound good to you?
Mmk, deal!
My girlfriend's bachelorette party is in Toronto tomorrow night..well, technically tonight.. and I am going. I am going! (I already paid, so I may as well give it a shot!) It's a big deal! It's a big deal that my friend is getting married and wants one last silly-girl celebration with me, and it's a big deal that I am going.
No daddy, no boyfriend, no mom or baby sister even, out of town and over night. That's a big list of uncomfy. Add in 11 drunk girls, and plenty of drunk boys! Lot's of strangers!
I haven't been on a dance floor since New Year's Eve..I think. Yep! It's been 8 months since I had the balls to spend time in an overcrowded, stuffy, thick-aired, too-loud bar. And it's been perhaps 4 years since I've been in a bar in Toronto!
You know, I used to picture myself as a cool 20-something chick who frequented trendy Toronto clubs. I also used to picture myself married to Zac Hanson, and now he's married to someone else with 3 kids..so!
Anyways!
Getting married involves a great deal of growing up. And growing up is hard! Especially if you have a panic disorder! (ESPECIALLY if you have cancer, or one less limb, or you're blind! I realize I shouldn't complain.) You have to be brave to commit to one other person for the rest of your life, and get ready to live together, and pay bills together, and make pretty babies together. That's a huge deal. To me, though, a huge deal is packing to spend the night in a fancy hotel with all my cute girlfriends, in a sexy dress. Grossly pathetic!
None the less.
heating pad - CHECK
extra wash cloth - CHECK
journal - CHECK
drugs - CHECK
tummy pillow - CHECK
Snapple - CHECK
laptop with Greys DVD - CHECK
toothbrush, change of undies, black heels, and all that other crap - YEP
I have one friend coming who isn't a drinker, and she doesn't love sleeping in beds other then her own either, so if worse comes to worst, she can drive me home at 3 am! If the drugs don't settle, and the washcloth isn't cool enough, writing isn't distracting enough, sitting on the toilet isn't relieving enough.. I can go home to by own bed and my own bathroom, and my own daddy. So, nooooooo worries! PLUS! The bride-to-be has anxiety too, so there will be plenty of Ativan to go around!
Except I'm worried!
It can't get much worse then the cottage bathroom floor, and I survived that. And I can survive this! I WILL survive this! This is an opportunity. My friend has stepped up to the plate, and she's taking the opportunity to spend the rest of her life with the boy she loves, so I can take the opportunity to prove to everyone..prove to myself that I can do this, I can win this battle even in a bed that's not mine, or a bathroom that I'm not used to laying in.
OR! I can dance 5lbs off and take fantastic pictures with my girlfriends while winning silly dares, and then wake up calm after a decent, uninterrupted sleep in a big, clean hotel bed. Either or!
(Ps. Second post without Princess Georgia..she's proly getting lonely..sorry!)
No comments:
Post a Comment