You Are Cordially Invited

WHEN: Right now!

WHERE: The Royal Ballroom

WHAT: A celebration of Princess Georgia's survival, of an entire year spent with the Anxiety Monster

WHY: Princess Georgia is hosting a grand party to thank those around her who have been by her side, the entire duration of this grand battle

No R.S.V.P necessary, if you are reading this, you are more then welcome to attend!

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It took a lot of research (back-reading through old journals) to figure out the exact date of when THAT week began. I can't be completely sure, because I didn't write that first night. Or that next day! Which is SO unlike me. I hadn't yet learned, the comfort of journaling my way through an attack. Plus, THAT 'attack' was honestly too debilitating to connect lucid thoughts, let alone hold a pen steady. It all happened so fast, I never even bothered to try to sort it out on paper...it's just a vivid picture in my head.

But I know, it has been a year.

Imagine. An entire year!

A year ago I was sick enough to end up in Emerge, and I was anxious enough to jump the wait-list and immediately begin treatment in a mental rehabilitation clinic (or, a NUT HOUSE!). A year ago, I honest-to-god didn't think I'd survive THAT week. A year ago, I didn't want to survive it. And now it's been a year. And I can not express the proud, and the relief, and the thankful that filled me when realizing this milestone.

It's been a long year. A long ass year. And a tough year. It's been the longest and the toughest year of my life. Of OUR lives. I may have been the only one on the front lines, I may have been the one that had to do all the heavy fighting, but I haven't been alone, not once, this entire year.

My Dad (King Daddy) was there the night it all began...shoveling my throw-up off the floor, and promising that it would be over soon, as I laid there crying, begging him to just put me out of my misery instead. Even after seeing me that way, he's never left my side. Over the last year he has gotten so used to me yelling for him, for company during an attack in the middle of the night, that he sometimes still wakes up just thinking he can hear me calling. He has hugged me EVERY day since, and never forgot to ask how I was feeling, and never forgot to tell me how proud he's been.

My mom has made sacrifices throughout her entire life, but THAT week, she made the ultimate sacrifice for me. Well, I thought it was a pretty huge deal anyways. Dad had a business meeting, and after already taking time off to stay home with me, he had to go. And suddenly I was home alone for the first time. It took begging, and crying, but eventually my mom upstairs and found my on the bathroom floor, and sat by the freezing cold fan with me, telling pointless stories until I was distracted enough to calm down. It’s a big deal because my mom doesn’t live here! She walked into her ex-husband’s house to be with me, when I needed her the most. She’s also proven to be the best company during any major blood-testing appointment, or trip to Emerge.

My sister and I are separated by 4 years, but this year we fell in love again. Being a sister is a tough role, especially to another sister, with ups and downs, and comparisons. It’s like girl friends, times a billion! Overall, she’s very likely received the most late-night/mid-day/5am text messages from an anxious me over the last year, and she always replies. All it takes is a reply, most of the time, and the fact that hers were never laced with judgment, has just been a bonus. Oh! We have a brother too, you know! And maybe our brother-sister relationship isn’t as deep as our sister-sister relationship..I don’t bother HIM with texts from my toilet, lol..but I will never stop being thankful for finding him back in my life again, this year of all years.

And then there's Prince Charming. When we 'first' met over three years ago, I was surprised he wanted to date me. He was the handsomest, coolest, most mature boy..and I was just a mess of a girl getting out of a crappy relationship. But I was still completely sane, as far as he knew, back then! We'd only been officially a couple for less than two years when I became too sick to want to go out, and too depressed to give him enough affection, and too anxious to deal with it on my own.

For most couples, especially still in the early stages of a life together, a trip to the loony bin would usually signify the end of things. What 26-year old man wants people knowing that he's dating a girl in need of psychiatric help?! But he did.

I have never underestimated how hard this year has been on him, but he never gave me reason to underestimate how much he cared for me, either. From accompanying me on trips I was too scared to take myself, to just replying with a ‘Take your time, I’m here’, he kept my heart from ever hurting the way the rest of me did. Life is so much easier to survive when you have something to look forward to, and a normal, healthy, happily ever-after with him, has been the greatest motivation.

This year has taught me two major lessons:

1) Patience.

2) Real friends, real love shines truest when the world is at it’s darkest.

I have always had friends, plenty of friends, but it takes a year full of FAR less partying, far less fun, and way more drama to prove what a real friend is. It also takes a year like this to understand what being part of a family feels like, no matter how un-immediate most family members are.

I know that it’s not over yet, and maybe its one of those things that will never be over, but I truly believe that I have survived the worst of it. We have survived the worst of it. It will never be as bad as it has been, and that leaves me feeling confident. A year ago, I honest-to-god didn't think I'd survive THAT week. A year ago, I didn't want to survive it. And now it's been a year. And that leaves me feeling hopeful.

Confident, and hopeful.

If I can survive this, you can survive anything.

Love Always,

Princess Georgia