Princess Holidays

This is my favorite time of year, in general, and also for reflecting on all that's come since this time last year as most people tend to do. And it has been SO much. And the coming new year holds SO much already. And I'm a little overwhelmed. 

Overwhelmed shal be my excuse for the lack of 2015 blogging. 
In July (which is already 5 months ago, geezes) our utterly glorious baby turned one, and I underwent my third Endo-cleaning laparoscopy surgery. Very soon after I fell off the wagon, for lack of better words, as far as my anxiety goes. Recovering from surgery with a baby, coming to terms with the fact that despite past efforts and despite getting pregnant my disease continues to grow and spread, coming to terms with postpartum PMDD was overwhelming. Literally feeling the Endometriosis growing back immediately after surgery was overwhelming. Realizing once again, after working the same job for 3 years, that I am too sick to hold a job was very overwhelming. Coping with the constant guilt that accompanies a sometimes-debilitating chronic disease as been depressingly overwhelming. Needing to adjust my antianxiety prescriptions has been extremely overwhelming (and dizzy, and full of headaches). Accepting the Endometriosis treatment that will start in the new year (which I won't talk about until the new year) already has me feeling very overwhelmed. 

Do you know what has been the MOST overwhelming, though? The amount of good, and love, and laughs, and support, and family milestones, and true friendships, and small business success, and marital happiness and comfortableness that has filled this last year, despite all the afore mentioned. 

Of course it is not possible to reflect without seeing one million mental pictures of my baby. Growing up way too fast! He turned a year old and suddenly he is such a real, and wonderful little person. He runs and never walks, he gives the sweetest spontaneous hugs, all of a sudden he's starting to find all these new words ('car' and 'wowwww' are his current fave), he loves to sit and flip through all of his books, he has a favorite TV show and loves the water! He has 4 adorably sharp teeth (and I spend time daily praying that they all grow in straight). He is not a patient person yet, but so determined, and his little concentrating face is one of my favorite faces. I'm fairly certain he prefers his daddy to me for now, which I'm strangely ok with! He has had a persistent little cold for the last month and yet he shrieks and laughs and plays all day every, which honestly is an inspiration. Almost as inspiring as how independent he has (had to) become already. 

My dad has been in Florida for a few weeks now, so when my husband is at work I don't have someone to watch him while I have to be sick in the bathroom. I hate how much time he's had to spend in his crib, but for now it's the safest place for him when he has to be left alone (knock on wood, he hasn't tried escaping yet). I KNOW I'm not anything close to a neglectful parent, but to me it just FEELS like I am always sick, and he's always stuck in his bed. But he has never complained about it. He continues to be completely content sitting on his pillow, with the iPad on and his snack dish and a few books. He has given himself his bottle, and on very special occasions he's put himself to sleep, because my worst flare ups always seem to happen at nap time. I hate it, but it also makes me so proud. I tell myself that I do such a good job as a mom when I'm with him, that he doesn't even need me when I can't be with him. His ability to entertain himself is also pretty reassuring, considering the slim chance of ever getting a sibling!

I think my favorite thing to do these last few months, is taking him to the mall or the grocery store and letting him run around. He gets so excited to watch new people, and waves at everyone. Not a single person can pass us without smiling a real smile, and that alone feels like we are doing our part to make the world a better place. 

And 'a better place' seems like the perfect lead into my next point on my list of things to reflect upon; a group of women who have made my world a better place, and myself a better human being. They certainly aren't my oldest friends, we don't share adorable childhood memories (actually, I knew of and didn't really like a few of them in high school), we don't agree on everything and we are all SO different in SO many ways, but they are the greatest friends I have ever had. Next to my family, I have spent the most of my 2015 time with them, and when we're not together we are constantly texting each other (to the point where we've all had to mute our text group). 

Almost two months ago we managed to get away together, for a entire weekend, just us and no babies and no husbands. We didn't dress up and go out, we didn't take advantage of the freedom to nap or sleep in, we just got to really know and appreciate each other. And become best friends and not just mommy friends. Which is a big deal for someone who's felt pretty shafted in the best friend department for a very long time. 

Between parenting time, and play date time, sick time and napping as much as possible, this year I have managed to run my very own 'small shop'. BoBeads was something that was only meant to be a unique Christmas gift for my afore mentioned mommy friends, and yet the numbers at the end of my first year are so exciting. It has been a huge learning experience (and year two is already beginning with huge serious-business lessons), a great test of my patience and time management, and the perfect creative outlet. 

After inly a few months of business I was able to expand and create The Mommy Made Bazaar, a showcase for mothers who have also created handmade businesses or represent family-friendly brands! I wanted to find a way to support other women who 'go to work' after finally getting heir kids to sleep at the end of the day or hustle during nap time, and while I've questioned why I willingly took on the extra stress (I have a Spring and Christmas show under my belt now), it's been an awesome experience. The small business community is so supportive, and the women I've been able to connect with this way are inspiring. The events also raised over $600 for mommy-centered charities, which is a lovely bonus! Moms supporting moms, supporting moms!

I started out selling BoBeads to local moms in person, and now I have my own .com website and a very decent social media following that has allowed to to connect with customers as far as England, Turkey, Hawaii and New Zealand! And all the while, I've been able to contribute to my family's finances, which is extremely comforting for someone who's been too sick to get a 'real' job. Being a stay at home mom has been very rewarding (even if it wasn't really by choice) and I know it can't last forever so I take full advantage of the time with my baby, but being able to also pay our rent really minimizes the guilt that comes from not being able to work in the stereotypical sense!

Lastly, this year has been so full of family time, and I could not be more thankful for that alone. Even if I never got to experience and enjoy any of the other goodness I just typed about!

For his own reasons, my husband had to take 8 weeks off work, and while he needed to rest and regroup we also took full advantage of the extra 8 hours a day we got to spend as a little family. We found places to day trip, we took turns napping (any parents without this arrangement are insane!), we watched movies as a family and ate all together at the dinner table. We froze while joining our baby in the bath tub, and went out in public to show him off as much as possible!

We managed to take two family 'vacations' (you can't really call it a vacation once a baby is invited) this year, and each has been filled with so much love, and excitement over sharing the memories. Wandering the streets of New York City with my baby was literally a dream. My favorite people in my favorite city! And now we are in sunny summer-time Florida for the second time as a family, soaking up the sun and the glorious moments that a happy toddler creates. 

It's not just Little Lindley family time that has been plentiful these past few months, though. The majority of our days include at least a little Grampa time, and in all honesty I'd choose that over owning our own fancy house any day! There are still plenty of people who question or judge the fact that we live with our baby in my dad's basement, but in our situation it is the very best situation. And few things make me as happy as seeing my dad and his grandbaby together. Watching Judge Judy, lol. 

This summer I also flew with my baby to Kenora with my mom, to spend time with her mom. It was a trip that I dreaded and tried to get myself out of because my physical and mental illness were at an all time high, I hate flying, and Id be single-parenting for a week. But in hindsight I am SO thankful we went. My Nana moved in with my mom just a few weeks ago, so this summer was the last time I'd be able to visit that tiny city, and the only time my baby would get to be there. I was able to go to all the shops and the beach that we went to as kids, all the while getting some quality time with one of my favorite cousins and her kids, and watching my baby bond with his Nana. Despite the ups and downs of my relationship with my mom, I only ever want my baby to love her as deeply as I grew up loving her.

And then there's the family time that includes my baby sister. Huh! After 20 months of exploring and teaching and bike crashing in Australia and Thailand, my sister finally came home to visit. And meet her nephew for the very first time. And just break my heart in the most wonderful way. 

We have all been able to spend these very few days as if we've always been together and it's no big deal, but stopping to think about the significance of her trip home, and seeing her play in the ocean with my baby has been a remarkable gift. He's almost a year and a half old, but he's now been able to hug both of my long distance traveling siblings, and that simply completes my heart. 

And that's that! My fingers hurt now, and my brain feels broken! Actually, that's something else that's proven overwhelming; 'mom-brain'. Lol. It sounds ridiculous, but it is a for real affliction that has hit me HARD this past year! My dreams for 2016 include more productive brain cells. And for my baby to start sleeping through the night again. And a successful hysterectomy. And to get to watch one of my mommies birth their second baby in a tub! And being able to add 50% to my business revenue. And winning Starbucks For Life. Or even just A Week. And hearing my baby say 'I love you'! And also finding Bieber tickets. 

Wishing you the happiest, healthiest 2016 possible
Princess Georgia, xo