Bon Voyage

At work we continually tell parents to have very reasonable expectations for their children. The classes I teach have parents in the gym with their children under 3 years old, and we always start by reminding parents that if their children want to wander around instead of sitting patiently in our opening circle, that’s totally ok! At the age of two, some children are able to sit, and wait in a circle for 5 minutes, some aren’t. At two years old, some children won’t have any means to listen to your ‘hello song’ or learn the baby sign language sign of the week, and that’s completely normal.

In the childcare profession, the most obvious thing I’ve learned is that children develop at different speeds. Your child may still be learning ‘two word sentences’ while another kid in their class can play Mozart on the piano. That’s just the way it is. However, there are still always going to be the parents who run and grab their children and bring them back to the circle, or hold their children upsidedown waiting for them to put their hands out for a front roll like the other children do. They say, and often believe they have reasonable expectations, but everyone wants the smartest, most advanced kid around! Everyone wants to be able to brag to other parents with reasonable expectations, that THEIR child can already read to themselves, or catch a ball.

That want..or NEED to live up to ‘reasonable’ expectations doesn’t end with our children though. By 24 years old we know how to drive a car never mind somersault, and speak second or third language never mind ‘more please’, and yet, we more often then not need more.

Princess Georgia just got home from a beautiful party held in honor of one of her very best friend who was about to embark on a journey across the land! The Princess’ friend was all packed and ready to leave her family and friends and the comfort of her own bed to travel far far away, all by herself! Princess Georgia was very happy for her friend, but she was also very envious.

Princess Georgia was a great Princess and while she knew she should be proud of how far along she had come in her battles with the Anxiety Monster, she couldn’t help but be disappointed in herself at the same time. She now had a friend going miles and miles and miles away on her own, and Princess Georgia couldn’t even bring herself to attend this farewell party without Prince Charming by her side, just in case. Princess Georgia didn’t want to be caught in a sneak attack without any backup, but her friend was brave enough to go kingdoms away without a single solider by her side.

Princess Georgia was still just getting used to getting up every morning and going to work at the kingdom’s children’s park without being too afraid of the Monster finding her there. Princess Georgia was still working on the courage to travel just one kingdom over, in order to visit her grandparents for the night. Princess Georgia knew there was no way she was strong enough to travel to the other side of the land all by herself, but knowing it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. The Anxiety Monster had forced Princess Georgia to put her own dreams of exploring far far away on hold, which often made her feel embarrassed, instead of feeling proud of the things she WAS able to accomplish.

It seems silly, but it’s true.

I’ve listened to people say that their goal was to be able to go grocery shopping without getting to anxious. To some people, another’s inability to go out to buy food in order to provide for their families, seems outrageous. I can go grocery shopping! What I can’t do right now, is ever imagine travelling around the world all by myself. That to me is terrifying. It’s terrifying to imagine being alone in a foreign country, and it’s terrifying to imagine never being able to be alone in a foreign country.

I have been told that even as adults, we all progress and feel success at a different pace, and that is a proven fact, but a hard fact to come to terms with. No matter what, we want to be able to conquer the world before anyone else does, just as we want for our children to be able to stand on their heads or do flips over the high bar before any other kids can.