Hope Floats

It's tough, not to get overly excited when I wake up after a disruption-free, sweaty, dreamy sleep. I once went 7 whole days without sleeping or eating, barely moving and hallucinating. An entire week of my life was spent spinning through a cycle 'getting sick makes me anxious-being anxious makes me sick-getting sick makes me anxious'...etc. So when I wake up at noon and realize it is indeed the first time I've waken up since laying down to go to sleep, it's really tough not to get my hopes up. Especially when I have 2 or 3 or 4 disruption-free, sweaty, dreamy sleeps in a row.

But I do. I always do. It's what I do..I get my hopes up.

Hope is good. It really is. Hope heals! But when hope gets too high, it's simply further to fall, when something knocks you back down.

Princess Georgia was having the most wonderful week! She had spent time with Prince Charming, chasing butterflies in the park, and she had spent time with King Daddy laughing secretly through royal court proceedings which he had to preside! The Princess had spent time with her Princess Sister! She volunteered with her friends from around the village to raise money for sick children (because no matter how much she had been suffering, Princess Georgia always wanted to make life better for others) and even got to spend time with her long-lost Prince brother, and meet his very own Princess! The weather was beautiful, and Princess Georgia was feeling beautiful again.

Perhaps that's the Anxiety Monster's master plan..to wait until the Princess is well recovering, and finding her smiles again, to come back for an attack. The higher the Princess is on her pretty Princess pedestal, the more hurt he could cause when knocking her down yet again.

It's a decent plan, I suppose. Want to REALLY hurt someone? Wait until they are just starting to love life again, just starting to feel confident and hopeful, and THEN attack. Some kick you while you're down, but often being kicked while you're high, hurts more.

I could look at the situation as 'half full' though. I could count my blessings and be thankful for the few good sleeps I got before tonight's attack.

Princess Georgia could count her blessings and be thankful that her stomach didn't summon the Anxiety Monster until she had been able to enjoy a few days dancing in the courtyard before having to run and hide again.

After 3 hours sleep, and the need for an Ativan, am I thankful, or am I bitter? We should all be thankful for the good things in life, even if those things only last a day or two in between awful moments. But sometimes bitterness can drive the force to fight even harder next time.

3 hours of sleep is not enough to make me feel equipped to answer such questions at this time. I can say however,

"Happy Father's Day, King Daddy!"