I asked dad to attend my appointment with my GI doctor, with me. I feel like I need an advocate. This doctor has seen me before. And he has dismissed me before. I don't want to be dismissed again.
I want someone to see me, and believe me, that I can not spend the rest of my life this way. There is so much good in my life, so much to be happy about, and thankful for. And yet, I can't enjoy it, well. I can put a smile on, I can still laugh, and I do love the people I love, but I am miserable. I can't smile as brightly, I can't laugh as hearty, and I can't love quite as hard as they deserve to be loved. I feel awful all the time, remarkably awful. And I want to be fixed.
I want someone to believe me when I say that this is nearly, barely bearable. I want someone to want to give me every drug, run every test, preform every procedure, and then cut me open head to toe until they find a way to fix whatever is so wrong with me.
I want to be able to wake up one day and not have to waste my first thought on, "Just HOW shitty do I feel this time?"
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